I’ve gone though a roller coaster of emotions with my photography. Plenty of beautiful highs but also some lows. I’ve missed shooting for myself….shooting from a place of passion. Shooting in the way I wanted to shoot and not in a way that I knew was safe.
When you attach money and deadlines to something your heart loves it can change things. If you’re not smart in the way you go about this shift from passion to profession stress trickles in and creativity tends to take a backseat.
It happened to me. I let it happen.
But I now know better.
Here is the story of how I got back to a place of passion with my work.
I have the cutest little bosses that forced me to take a break from photography almost a year ago. Well photography as a profession I should say. I will always be a photographer. My boys needed me and I needed a break so I was happy to oblige.
After my second son was born I stepped back.
I took off my professional photographer hat and kissed the business I had spent 8 years building on the cheek goodbye.
It was a big move and oh boy did it makes my knees knock.
Who was I now?
What will I say when people ask what my profession is?
Will my clients remember me?
What about all that I worked so hard to build?
What happens next?
Seasons in life are a funny thing.
Sometimes we fight them.
Sometimes we welcome them with open arms.
Sometimes they present themselves with new found strength and perspective. If we’re ready to embrace the newness of the season we can learn and grow when we’re least expecting it.
This is what happened to me.
Being a full time mama to my boys is such a mighty gift and you best believe I’m soaking up all the wild and crazy they throw my way with a massively grateful heart. I’m exactly where I need to be. I have peace in this place. I now know the answers to all those questions I had above. The Why’s and the What-if’s. The things I was so worried over no longer cause me grief and I feel that this break has been the best thing for my family, my marriage, my self, and surprisingly my photography.
By taking a step back I’ve been able to think…..
What drives me creatively?
What fuels my passion for photography?
What do I want for my family and myself when I’m back to shooting professionally?
What would I do differently as a business owner to insure that I stay in a place of passion with my craft?
I’ve been able to think through all the answers to these questions and have learned and grown so much as a photographer over the last year.
While I’m not working at the moment per se I have taken on a few shoots here there from long time clients that I just can’t say bye to. The clients that trust my creative eye and allow me to shoot what I love to shoot. Real raw moments. They aren’t afraid of photos where their family members aren’t all smiling while looking at the camera. They see value in capturing real connection. They allow me to create in a way that sets my heart on fire.
Taking a step back has brought me to a place of love for photography and given me the confidence to push for what I’m passionate about. I more proud of the work I’m producing now than I’ve been in a very long time. I have this break, this stay at home mama season to thank for it!
Many of us see those posed family photos pop up on our Facebook walls and think that’s what photography is supposed to be.
Oh but photography can be so much much if you let it.
Don’t get me wrong grandparents love those posed everyone looking at the camera photos and there is a time and place for images of this nature. I still sneak in a few shots like this in my sessions but majority of what I’m aiming for is something more real.
Something more natural.
I’m just not that posed perfection photographer. It wasn’t my jam when I was in the thick of shooting but I didn’t fight for it. I delivered beautiful work. Images I’m still proud of but it was work that I knew my clients wanted.
It was safe but not me.
My time is precious. If I’m shooting or editing I’m away from my boys and that’s time with them that I can’t get back. If I’m out shooting I want it to be spent creating something I’m passionate about. So while I work my way back to reopening my doors full time (not until it feels right for my family). I will be taking on the occasional shoot here and there. Sessions that I know will be a good fit for my creative eye and clients that aren’t afraid to trust in me 100%.
I’m proud of the work I’m creating and feel ready to share it with you.
The photography side of this blog have been nonexistent for a while but finding my place of passion with my work has me itching to chat about all things photography on the blog again.
As the weeks go on I’m going to start sharing some recent sessions I’ve shot with you and well as images I taken from our day to day life.
Hope that you guys are willing join me on this journey because this is a huge season of growth for this old photographer and I couldn’t be more excited about the future!