Hanging With the Huies »

Hey Y’all!!! For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Jordan Flowers. To sum me up in a nutshell, I am 100% crazy & wild and when it comes to sharing my life I am an open book. Sometimes I wonder how my husband, Casey, puts up with me and my crazy ways. I am also a #BoyMom to 2 adorable little guys, Caleb (age 7 ¾ he makes sure to tell you the ¾ part because that means he is closer to 8 than to 7) and Dax (who will be 2 on Flag Day… June 14th). Those three guys are my life and my everything; they are the reason my heart beats daily.

I have followed Kendra for a few years now and I consider her a friend, even though we haven’t met in person yet. I say yet, because we live like 45 minutes from each other so it will happen one day. Kendra is always so uplifting and encouraging and giving us new ways to look at life. I love her blog, her IG, her FB and everything else because it is nice to have a refreshing outlook on life this day and age. If you are new to her blog, stick around because you will LOVE it here.

Kendra asked a few of us moms to write a guest blog that related to motherhood and I wanted to write about something that most wouldn’t even dare talk about. I suffer from depression and when I get depressed I turn to food and to my bed to help get me through the tough times. The depression has affected the type of friend I am, the type of wife I am and even the type of mom I am. Being a mom is a tough job, but add in something like depression and it makes it just that much more difficult.

I love both of my boys to pieces and would go to the end of the earth for them, I would take a bullet for them, and I would give my life to save theirs…. You know, the typical things a parent would do for their child. However, when my depression hits from time to time, it is hard for me to even get out of bed to feed them or to parent them.

 

This past November I had some friends come to visit from Utah, once they left to head back home, this cloud of depression took over my life. I felt alone and I was very sad. I am not sure what triggered it, maybe it was the visit coming to an end or maybe it was just the holiday blues, but it swallowed me up and held me captive. The holidays are a time to watch the magic in your children’s eyes and all I wanted to do stay in bed and ignore my boys. Anytime Caleb would get excited about that damn elf on the shelf or wanting to see Santa Claus, my anger would grow and over the course of the next month, I was beyond frustrated with him. Dax was 1 ½ and very mischievous and would get into everything, leaving me yelling at him daily. My husband worked the opposite shift than me and that meant I was alone to parent the boys from 2p to midnight 5 nights a week. With each passing day, my depression got darker and darker and my anger levels were higher and higher… I was at the point that even the smallest thing would set me off.

On top of it all, every time I yelled at the boys or hid from them (because all I wanted to do was sleep and eat the day and nights away), a little bit of mom guilt creeped into my heart and made me feel worse than I already did. This was supposed to be the most magical time of the year and here I am ruining it for myself and everyone around me. My marriage started to suffer because of it and my boys started to pull away from me. Caleb even admitted to Casey that he was scared to ask me something because he was afraid that I would yell at him or ignore him.

Then to add to it all, my health started taking a turn for the worse. Every other week I was sick and I visited the doctors 3 times from November to January for medication. I was stressing myself out so much due to all the depression and guilt that I was making myself sick. Being a mom is hard, being sick and being a mom is even harder… I remember lying in bed one afternoon after finding out I had walking bronchitis and an upper respiratory infection and asking God why did he give me these boys? Why did he make me their mom? I laid there and cried even thinking about these questions going through my mind. I love my boys but I couldn’t take care of myself, why did God think I could also take care of these boys on top of it all.

Luckily, Casey has been around long enough to know how to handle me when I get depressed and he really stepped it up and took on my role as much as he could. He gave up overtime and spent more time at home. He sent me away to a hotel so I could have a night alone. He found babysitters to help me when he wasn’t around. He took care of groceries and meal planning. He tried his best to carry some of the stressful jobs for me so I could focus on getting better. I remember him telling me one afternoon “Jordan, something has to change, you aren’t the woman I fell in love with anymore. You deserve to be her again. Our boys deserve their mom back. I deserve the love of my life back.”… Something in that truth, hit me hard and I decided then and there enough was enough.

I pulled myself up as much as I could and started getting back to the gym (normally, I live in the gym and I love fitness so much but since the depression hit, I gave up on myself and that meant giving up the gym too). I wish I could say it was a quick fix and I felt better within a week, but in reality it has taken a few months to start feeling better again. It took a few months before I could smile without having to force it. It took a few months to stop taking naps and instead spend the time being around my boys. It took a few months for that irritation level to go back down to normal. But when it started to change, my boys started to notice. Caleb told me last month that he loved being around me when I am a happy Mom. Dax has started wanting to come to me when I enter the room now. It wasn’t an overnight thing, but with every passing day I was able to pull myself out of the funk and get back to being the mom and wife I was created to be… instead of faking it and hiding from my life.

If you suffer from depression, please know you are NOT alone. Please know that you are loved and that even though the depression might suck sometimes, life will get better if you put in the work to overcome it. Please know that you aren’t a bad mom for yelling, for getting angry, and for hiding from and ignoring your kids… I have been there too.

To Caleb & Dax – Thank you for loving me in spite of my flaws and depression. You boys are heaven sent and I promise you that depression or no depression, I love you more than you will ever know. I promise you that I will always try to be a good mom (key word try) and I ask that you forgive me on days that I fail.

To Casey – I love you for loving me. You are my rock and I don’t know how I would survive this rollercoaster I call life without you next to me. Thank you for letting me be perfectly imperfect.

 

Want to follow me more?

Fitness Page – Facebook.com/FitByJordan

Shirt Business – Facebook.com/TheBloomingB or TheBloomingBoutique.Net

InstaGram – JordashFlowers or The_BloomingBoutique

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  • Haley Mills - Thank you for sharing your story. Depression is such a heavy burden to bear, but I try to remember that the light shines a bit brighter on us when we do find our way out. I think those of us that suffer from mental illness seem to notice more of the beauty around us in the good times, because we need to hold on to it in the bad. So try to soak in the summer as much as you can. And like you said, you are not alone. We are all here for you when you need us.ReplyCancel

  • Lisa - Jordan, thank you so much for sharing your story. I am certain that your words have blessed someone that needed to hear them today. You have a beautiful family and are a wonderful mama. Happy Mothers Day!ReplyCancel

Hi there, my name is Jessica and I’m a new mom to an eight month old baby boy named Steve. I enjoy photography, coffee, airports and the outdoors.  I’ve been following Kendra and Hanging with the Huies for a couple of years now. I really love watching all of the Vlogs and I enjoy all of Kendra’s beauty and food posts. She’s always been a person that I knew -if we lived near each other- we’d be the best of friends… Mostly because we both love outdoors and coffee so much.

Kendra gave me free reign on this blog post, so I thought I’d enlighten you all with my random thoughts on motherhood and how it has changed me – the good, the bad and of course, the beauty of this beautiful, messy life that I wouldn’t change for the world.

Motherhood is always something I couldn’t wait to enter. I couldn’t wait for all of the firsts, the birthdays and the everyday joys of motherhood. I helped raise my siblings that are 11 years younger than me. I always picked up every baby my friends and family had. I knew that one day I would be a mother and I was going to try my best to be a good one. My son, Steve, made me a mother on September 2nd, 2016 and changed me forever. My pregnancy was fairly easy with only minimal morning sickness, round ligament pain and my sciatica flaring up near the end. My delivery was easy and smooth and then he was here. My sweet, sweet angel. Everyone always says that a baby changes you, but I never fully understood that until I held him, smelled him and kissed him for the first time. His big blue eyes looked up at me in a haze like “mama is that you?. Is that the voice I’ve been hearing the last 10 months?”. Our first few weeks were difficult and amazing as we adjusted to each other. I struggled with getting used to having a baby and not being able to shower whenever I wanted to or sleeping longer than two hour stretches, but I knew I was meant to be his mom.

He made me so proud and even on those long sleepless nights, I tried to embrace those moments because I knew they wouldn’t last forever. Steve has changed me as a person forever. One of the struggles I faced in the beginning was breastfeeding. My milk took five days to come in and then when it finally did come in I had to use a nipple shield and my supply was barely enough. My son would latch for maybe 10-15 minutes whenever he ate and then he’d cry and cry because he was still hungry. I struggled a lot with breastfeeding. I always felt defeated and less of a mother because this beautiful, natural thing I couldn’t do. I wanted so badly to make it work, but after two months of trying and meeting with lactation consultants I decided to just exclusively pump. He was getting formula at night from the beginning because I never produced enough. I pumped every two hours for five months. It was wonderful and stressful being hooked up to that machine. I loved knowing he was getting my milk, but I hated having him cry and want to be held while I pumped alone. After five months of exclusively pumping, I decided to stop. My supply had nearly diminished and I was barely pumping 7 ounces a day. I kept hearing from a close friend that a happy mom will equal a happy baby. I still struggle knowing we didn’t breastfeed for long and when my supply dropped I had to stop pumping, but I know I did my best. He is a healthy, happy and thriving baby boy and as my doctor would say. He’s off the charts with his weight and height. I’m proud of myself for getting through that struggle and I’m a better mom because of it.

I also struggled with going back to work after my 12 weeks of leave were over. I loved being home with him every hour of the day and seeing him grow and change. I knew everything about him. I hated thinking that I would be missing out on so many things with him. I still get teary eyed when I think about the time he spends away from me, but I now know it’s for the best. My family needs both of our incomes to live the life we want and even though it took me a long time to admit it, I liked getting back into a work routine. Now I cherish all of our time together so much more. I live for the weekends and I live for those morning giggles.

Like most women these days I struggle with my body postpartum, but most days Steve helps me realize what my body created. How could I be unhappy with it when it gave me the best thing in my life. I love this body I’m in- stretch marks, flabby skin and excess weight and all. Before having my son, my main focus was always on the scale and losing weight and wearing a size small. I still struggle with my body some days, but It created life and nurtured a baby with breast milk for five months. My goal now is to try and live a healthy and happy life. If that includes an ice cream cone or a glass of wine on a Friday night, then I’m fine with that. I will be healthy with my food about 80% of the time and that’s great because then I don’t have the urge to binge. Finding that balance is what I still struggle with, but I’m making it work.  I want to keep loving the body I’m in and set a good example of a healthy life for my son.

To end my thoughts and rambles, I just wanted to say–

Motherhood has changed me forever and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love the person I have become and I can’t wait to see how I keep changing with motherhood as my son gets older and future kids get in the picture.

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  • Lisa - Beautifully written! Motherhood is the hardest job we’ll ever love… thank you for sharing you’re story and adorable son with us today.ReplyCancel

    • Kendra Huie - Isn’t her son a doll! Thank you for leaving Jessica some love. She did such a good job taking over for the day!ReplyCancel

    • Jessica - Thank you, Lisa! I really appreciate your sweet comment. I’m glad you enjoyed my post!ReplyCancel

  • Kiersten - Thank you for sharing your story! I am exclusively pumping with my second child and it takes a lot of effort, I’m so proud of you for keeping it up for 5 months! What an awesome accomplishment! And I really like how you touched on the subject of your body image as I have had the same thoughts and feelings about my postpartum body. But you’re right, it’s important to remember that this body created life and that is the most amazing thing. Great read!ReplyCancel

    • Jessica Awad - Kiersten– that’s wonderful that you’re pumping for baby #2! It’s no joke and definitely a hard task especially with cleaning the pump and the bottles and feeding after you pump and being hooked up to the machine. I’m happy and so proud of you for pumping! How long have you pumped? I still struggle with my body image, but I’m doing my best to just live a healthy life. That’s all I can do right? What’s your IG name? I’m (feghals) I’d love to follow you!!ReplyCancel

Howdy just wanted to pop in and quickly share some exciting things we have coming up on the blog this week!

We have such a wonderful community centered around this little space of ours.

Some of you have been following along since the beginning.
Some of you have hooked up with us along the way.
Some of you are new to our blog.

No matter how our paths have crossed we’re so grateful that you’ve joined our little community here and I want to celebrate YOU!!!

I jumped in our private Facebook Group (Hanging With The Huies Friends you can join the group here) and asked if there were any mama’s that would like to guest post the week leading up to Mother’s Day.
And you know what……there were YAHOO!

I only opened a few spots this round but I hope to make this a more frequent thing and not just for mamas.
I would LOVE to feature people from our blog community from all different walks of life!

Since we’re quickly approaching Mother’s Day I thought it would be fun to invite fellow mothers to take over the blog chat about topics centered around motherhood.

They’ve picked some pretty heart touching topics to share with you this week.

Our guest post start tomorrow morning and I’ll be bringing up the end on Friday with a post packed of my favorite mama podcast!
See you back here tomorrow!

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We recently road tripped to Hot Springs, Arkansas. I had some work in the area photographing cabins (cabin tours and family trip vlogs coming up) so we decided to make a mini family vacation out of it! I thought you guys might like to see what our van looks like all packed up for one of our road trips so I pulled out the vlogging camera and took you on a tour before we hit the road.

To watch directly via You Tube click here.

 

As I mentioned in the vlog this was a shorter drive for us and didn’t require all the planning that I would typically do for one of our longer road trips or plane ride. If you would like to see all the planning that goes into one of our longer trips be sure to let me know below! We have a 14 hour road trip coming up on a few months and I would be happy to share some of my ideas and tips!

 

  1. Touch & Teach Word Book – This has been an in home and travel favorite for a while.
  2. Little People Planes, Cars, Trucks, and Trains – Can’t go wrong with a lift a flap book for toddlers.
  3. Bubbles Buckle Toy – In the van tour I mentioned this toy. It wasn’t a hit the 1st time around but my youngest loved it this time. He was able to buckle it all up and even matched the colors.
  4. Travel Color & Paper Pack – Do not buy it from this link unless you absolutely have to have it. I purchased ours at Target for $3. If you’re no longer able to find it at Target look on Etsy for something similar or toss some crayons and paper in a baggie and call it a day.
  5. Camelbak Kids Insulated Water Bottle – We love these Camelbak water bottles for travel. We not only use them in the car but throughout our trip as well. The boys are easily able to cart them around (our boys are 3 & 2), they really are spill proof (don’t you love when children’s water bottles say they’re spill and leak proof but totally lie), they’re easy to clean and if for some reason you need to replace the straw and it’s easy to purchase a replacement pack. The insulated version of this water bottle is our favorite!
  6. Soft Quiet Book – Both boys enjoy playing with this! It comes with several different plush animals. Each page has a different animal home. The child can match the animal with their home and place them inside. It’s super cute!
  7. Travel Tray – On long road trips this thing has saved me! It’s not 100% flat as it’s a soft surface tray but I actually like it better that it’s soft and somewhat bendable. It still provides just enough structure for play, books, and coloring while still being comfy for the child to use for long periods of time.

Do you have any road trip hacks? Share in your comment below!

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  • Kiersten - LOVED this blog post! So helpful with some great activities for the kids! Thank you for sharing!!! And I would love it if you shared what you pack for the long road trips!ReplyCancel

    • Kendra Huie - Yay! Thank you for letting me know you enjoyed this post! As we start packing for our next trip I’ll document some of what I do to prepare. 🙂ReplyCancel

  • laney - Thank you for the tips. We will be traveling with our 6 and soon to be 2 year old, this summer. We have noticed neither will sleep on long car roads, but put them in car for a twenty minute drive to Little Rock and they are out before we hit the interstate! Craziness! You always have the best tips. Thank you!ReplyCancel

    • Kendra Huie - Hi Laney! Thank you for your sweet words and for letting me know you enjoyed this post! Yay for summer trips! Hopefully I shared something that will make your journey a touch easier.ReplyCancel

Every now and then we get questions about the boy’s hair.

Do you style it every day? Most days I sure do.
Is it hard to do? Nope in fact it’s super easy.
How do you have the time for that? Ummm well it literally takes seconds to fix.
Are they good when you’re styling it? Yep! They’re used to it. They’ve had a styled hair cut since they were teeny tiny. They have the routine down!
What gel do you use? Johnny B Hair Hold Mode Styling Gel. Kent and I are super picky about hair gel. Our favorite brand was discontinued so we tried many others over the last several months hoping to find one that lived up to the one that we loved. Johnny B Hair Hold Mode is the winner and I even like it a touch better than the previous gel we were using.
How do you style it? I spray it with a tiny bit of water, add gel, use a fine tooth comb to comb it to the center then style from there. Carson gets spikes and Weston has a side swoop type thing going on. For Weston I comb his hair to the side then use the comb to create a little wave in the front. 

My favorite though is when I get to tell people who cuts their hair!

A few years back we took Weston to get his 1st hair cut.

It was a massive and I mean massive nightmare.

He flipped out, the stylist was on edge, and we all left rattled.
It took two more rounds of that hot mess when Kent suggested that he cut Weston’s hair.
To which I said with every ounce of sarcasm in me “Yeah totally, I’m sure you could cut his hair” my eyes just about rolling right off my head.

He then went on to tell me how good he is at cutting hair.
How he cut his friend’s hair in college.
How they preferred his haircuts over going to a professional.

SAY WHAT?

We’ve been together for 17 years….17 YEARS and he’s never mentioned a thing about this hidden talent he claimed to have.
I was tired of the stress from taking Weston to children’s stylist and gosh darn it it’s expensive so I said why not.
If it didn’t turn out we could just buzz it off.

Funny thing is that I was pleasantly surprised.
Not only is he an amazing father, crazy smart, and a wonderful cook he can cut hair too…..go figure!

CHA-CHING husband jackpot!

It took a little while to get into the groove but y’all he’s good…….real good!
And all the professional stylist reading cringe.
Okay he’s good says my untrained eye.

Kent didn’t take his new role of Huie Boy Stylist lightly. He has a whole set up with a stool, decent scissors, clippers, a little mini broom and a fluffy brush to dust hair of the boy’s necks.

It wasn’t tear free at first but Weston did ton’s better for Kent than he did the stylist.
He’s a champ now, no tears, no complaining.
Carson like Weston took a little time to get into the routine but he rocks it now. No tears and sits still the whole time.

With 2 boys going in for cuts twice a month (their hair grows fast) Kent is saving us $120 a month.
Typing that out sounds nuts to me but after tip we were paying close to $30 for Weston so times four yep that’s right.
I was tipping pretty high because of the massive meltdown the stylist had to deal with.
I figured she was less likely to give him a crap haircut if I won her over with a nice tip.

Poor Kent doesn’t get a tip but he does get ice cream after it’s all said and done!
To his ice cream loving self that’s pretty much the best tip ever!

We started treating the boys to ice cream as a reward for doing well during their hair cut.
They no longer need an insensitive to make it through but a family ice cream date has become a tradition.
I’m all about traditions especially yummy ones!


Some day they’ll be too cool for home haircuts but for now we’re grateful for Kent’s hidden talent, sweet boys that let their mama style their hair and our family ice cream dates.

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  • Debbie - Kendra!
    I love the boy’s haircuts!!! And of course the styling. You both could open a shop! ReplyCancel

    • Kendra Huie - Thank you so much Debbie! I figure if we can’t have bows and tutus we can do cute cuts and stylish shoes! 🙂ReplyCancel

  • Lisa - Your boys are the CUTEST! They rock their adorable haircuts! How awesome that your hubby can cut their hair so well! Love it!ReplyCancel